She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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