At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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