WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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