My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
