At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special