i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
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I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
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Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?