Christians are straight up FREAKS
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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