Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
