So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
