12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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