Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
