thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
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