When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
