so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
