God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
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I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
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Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize