Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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