i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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