are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize