My balls are so social today.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
