Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
how drunk are you?
Several
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
