My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
