Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
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He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
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When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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