I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
