i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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