This girl is more easily done than said...
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
