when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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