do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
