You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
