if you like me you must not know who I am
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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