I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
