actually, I'm a sock model
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
