let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
