Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
