no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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