I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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