Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
