there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
