Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
