We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
