Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
