well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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