how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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