I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize