shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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