My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
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Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
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I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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