He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
