I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
