conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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