HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
