you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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