There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
one might say we're banned from that church
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
