Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm like, not good at living.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
