You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
