I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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