Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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