She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
