There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
