I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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