She's JV to your varsity
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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