we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
