why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
