I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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